Growing Faith // Finding Joy

Have you ever had one of those days? Where life just seems to be passing you by, and you’re simply stuck in what seems like a whirlwind of activity… I’v had a few recently, or at least it feels like that.

I’m not really busy. In fact I have significantly more free time than I’ve had in a long-time. But doing lots of little things (three jobs, church-life, detached youth work, Streetspace admin) seems to create the illusion that my life is jam-packed. Abbot Jamison (Finding Sanctuary) offers his solution straight:

“If somebody says they are too busy, then either they are too busy or they think they are too busy. Either way, the responsibility lies with them [p14]… You are a free person and you can choose how busy you want to be [p17]“

So as I stood on the beach yesterday, looking out to sea and contemplating what I wanted from life – I realised that I was taking  a negative perspective on the world around me. I was lamenting the busyness, gasping for air, and I was struggling.

Over the next few posts I want to explore how I’m working out my faith in this new context – I’m living in community, I’m holding down several jobs, I’m trying to be authentically missional, and for the first-time since I was 4 years old, I’m not a student. Our basis of faith here in Weston has three commitments, of which the first is:

“A lifelong search for community, intimacy, creativity and meaning”

As I reflected on this commitment, I remembered that life is a continual search for something greater – and above all, the meaning I want is Joy. Not a mediocre happiness, but a joy centred deep within me that allows me ride above all the internal pessimism when life seems busy, dirty or a struggle.

I think that I thought when I left university, when I hit the ‘real’ world, life would somehow resolve, and everything would be vibrant, brilliant, and perfect – Of course it’s not. So I’m struggling with the now and not yet of God’s Kingdom that reminds us that God’s beauty has already broken into the world, but it is still yet to be fully realised.

And so this quote, from New Monasticism as Fresh Expression of Church, has brought me back to reality as I reflect on the stuggles of my life, and of those around me.

“The commitment to struggle is an essential element of Christian Maturity”

Because in reality, my struggles are what make me who I am, and they are nothing in the face of those growing up on this estate. As we’re getting to know more young people and hear the voices of the faithful professionals already working here, we are realising how much people here have to battle through to succeed, of which I will look more closely in my next post.

“We are happy because of the hope we have of sharing God’s glory. We have joy with our troubles, because we know that these troubles produce patience. And patience produces character, and character produces hope. And this hope will never disappoint us, because God has poured out his joy to fill our hearts.”

J Wheatley